kentuckeraudley:

Kentucker Audley leaves the Country for the City in a poem by Larry Levis a short film for 1985 Magazine shot on location for Francesca Coppola’s “Where Did Our Love Go” by Evan Louison

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Stills from summer residency at BMC in the #Adirondacks 

Deragh Campbell - Where Did Our Love Go // super 16 mm short film I wrote and directed - more soon!

Deragh Campbell - Where Did Our Love Go // super 16 mm short film I wrote and directed - more soon!

On Juliet Art Magazine, Interview Italian and English

On Juliet Art Magazine, Interview Italian and English

Francesca Coppola Awakens to the Truth

thepoetinnewyork:

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Dear Samuel,

We drove for about eleven hours. We stopped for gas and I walked out of the car. I smelled the fall and the forest. I always notice the change in my senses when I leave the city. It reminds me I spend my life at the front steps of sleep, till I occasionally awaken to the truth of a gush of wind at dusk. 

I feel something in my stomach, because it reminds me of him, when we used to drive up to Connecticut. It’s a twinge a heavier breath in my lungs, carried all the way up to my neck and shoulders; it stops on my eyelids and lingers there for a moment…

My friend gestures for me to come, and I remember the gas pump. 

Oh, Samuel! All the coffees, and books, and drinks with friends, and driving, and the internet, and me writing to you –

Read More

Such a fun night and a great honor to be featured here!!

Never been so nice

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This is the first dvd you ever gave me. All the real girls by David Gordon Green. I remember the two of them standing in front of each other, and staring at each other for a long time. I remember thinking this is the opposite of awkward, despite the fact that they were standing in front of a building and it was cold and they were silent the entire time. Maybe that’s a good definition of love – the opposite of awkward.

Once you got upset and you took this back. This item is now in a plastic bag that I will leave at your brother’s. I like to think we’ve been this close in your blue room on hot summer nights, our eyes half close half open.

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This is my living room wall. We painted it together when I first moved in. I asked you what color I should use and you said yellow. You said yellow makes me think of you reading in a café on a fall day in some other country. I went to the store and picked the color, Lion’s Heart. We used a sponge and couldn’t quite get to the corners, so the wall is smudged on the edge. Then we had a fight, and then we opened a bottle of wine and then we went back to your place. In the empty apartment the paint dried up, as the cold air came through the open windows. The corners remained unpainted and the tape was left on the ceilings for a month or so.

Looking at the clumsy unpredictable strokes on the wall makes me think of October, of a lit candle and a small white clay sculpture right beside it. It makes me think of your grey sweater and your backpack in the corner.

 

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I broke up with you here. I clearly remember this pole as I spoke to you on the phone. I sat on the grass and looked at it for a long time after we talked. The thing that really stuck with me is the moment we said bye at the end of the conversation. It sounded like any other bye you’d say to anyone in any phone call. And then we hung up.

I haven’t spoke to you since, or heard your voice and I’m not sure when I will again, if ever. I bike through here every day to go to work. Sometimes I see the pole, sometimes I don’t. Perhaps one day it will be gone.

 

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The only time you got me roses. It was a cloudy afternoon and you had been working all night and hadn’t slept. You did not return my calls all day and the day before and you showed up at my door with roses and wine to congratulate me. But you were not very happy. You were not happy when you were supposed to be happy, and this has always been true with you. I liked it better that time you got me an empty candy wrap in the park and kissed me on the cheek, and told me I tasted like cherry ice. This wine and roses made me sad, or perhaps it was the grey-coated sky, or our silent afternoon nap.

This rose once in bloom is now dead. My joy never saw the light that day. It faded before you walked into the apartment. I glance at this every once in a while as I make myself a sandwich in the kitchen, and it reminds me of time gone and of things stolen.

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This is your subway stop. You can easily jump the turnstile, in absence of a security guard. There used to be a flower shop in the corner, now closed off by white panels, and a fat man dozing off among the roses. You took a picture of him once, and he mingled perfectly with the plants, a still life, lit by a flare of neon light. You told me the story of Sam who, on his way home from work, got flowers for Becca on their anniversary. The flowers sat on the vase as they left their apartment for the night.

We never had an apartment together. But we must have both thought at some point of a door quietly closing behind us as we entered the night, no one else’s but ours, the stillness of a room watching us walk down the streets, further and further away, to the fading honks of the cars and the city lights, like flickering dots above us.

This flower store is no more, and it won’t be long before there will be a booth at this station, and I won’t be able to sneak under the turnstile and get a free ride.

We’ve never been still. We have moved and pushed and stumbled, and hit. But at times we’ve held hands and waited in silence for the train to arrive.

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This is the deli by Tompkins. I came here a few times. One late night we were having beers at your place. You were going away for the weekend the following day. I told you that I loved you. You said, now what, and I said, let’s eat. So I came here to get groceries and we made pasta with tomato and cashews. We listened to your Joan Baez record and I asked you if you wanted to come to New Orleans with me.

Much later I found out that you went Upstate with someone else, another girl, that weekend. We were still together then. I don’t know how I feel about that now. But right there and then I hurried, got everything, paid and ran back to you.

We also stole avocados from here a few times when we didn’t have enough money to eat. We’d plug in the toaster under your desk and make sandwiches.

I still have your toaster.

 

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There needed to be a record in this. You’ve never been good at talking feelings, and you played music instead. I understood a lot about your moods and place of mind by listening to the lyrics of the songs you played for me. You bought a guitar, but never learned. You never learned much to be honest, and that’s because I think you never truly listened to me. It’s one of those things women say, but believe me it’s true. Had I sang for you, perhaps things would be different.

But April did come, and we danced in my living room. Around us the walls became trees, and below us the grass was soft and wet, like a spring morning.  I smile as I think we danced ourselves to the end of love, just like we said we would, driving upstate in your car when you used to say to me - what are you smiling about?

 

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This is your old apartment. I buzzed and ran up your stairs so many times in the middle of the night. You’d be by your computer. There was always music playing. It was your way, and I let you.

I stood here the night you puked after eating shark at the restaurant. I got you grapefruit and you cut it up and put sugar on top. I sat on those stools wearing a red dress on your birthday with a tiny creature on my lap, waiting for you.

I walked down the block the other night, and I saw us walk in the opposite direction. As I turned to see, we disappeared behind the corner. I paused for a moment. A girl scooped from behind me and opened the door. She turned around and smiled at me, before disappearing in the hall. 

Sometimes I like to think there is a blue room somewhere with a boy, a girl and a cat, and an open window that looks into a courtyard with a tree, in a place where is always night and never winter.

Sometimes I remember that feeling. But then something catches my attention, and through an open window I see a woman getting ready for the night, and the yellow cabs rushing down the avenue, and they remind me that you, like all things, have passed. I stand amazed, always behind this flow of things that, just like you, has escaped me. 

 

http://www.poetryteachersnyc.com/bling-ring-or-americas-sick-fascination-by-francesca-coppola/

http://www.poetryteachersnyc.com/bling-ring-or-americas-sick-fascination-by-francesca-coppola/

Today I feel Revolutionary To throw my everything Away Strip my naked body Of worn out seasons And make art with my breasts Black and white. But I don’t mind the cold Outside this yellow room. A serious being With wide bold pupils I turn to marble Again.



Today
I feel
Revolutionary

To throw my everything
Away
Strip my naked body
Of worn out seasons
And make art
with my breasts
Black
and white.

But I don’t mind the cold
Outside this yellow room.
A serious being
With wide bold pupils
I turn to marble
Again.

Far Rock


Liza lies supine on the bed
Kicking her heels
Her girlfriend’s gotta crush on someone
She knows- she giggles
Texting back happy faces
Her curly thick hair in a bun
Negro and latino blood
Jiggling as she laughs and moves
In snatches

Would you fuck this one?
She holds her phone
A video of a queer in women’s clothes
They’ve got a name for that.
But the boys are busy
Nico and JC
Playing video games
They give her no attention
The’ve got teeth like the walls
Yellow and crocked

Liza takes Nico in her arms from behind
Nuzzles in between his neck and shirt
He squeezes her in between
To push her away
And she wiggles out
Gotta be a tough man
Plus the game sucks you in.
When it’s just the two of them
At night
It’s a different story.

Behind the closed door
I hear
Grandmas, aunts, mothers, children
Too many times pregnant
Born
I can’t name them
Those black faces
Shadows I bumped into
Walking through the halls
Of disconnected rooms.

I sit quietly – camera ready
Not so much myself.
I feel like an awkward Santa
With a big red costume and no gifts
Squeezed in the corner
Of this stale room
How is it I wonder
We have not yet figured out
To travel forward in time
I’d give all this equipment away
To be sitting on the train back

The kids are twins
Five year olds
They sneak in
Nico doesn’t allow them in the room
But he’s too busy
Unloading his machine gun
On his best friend
They cheer – the kids
Jump up and down
They don’t know the difference.

They take interest in my camera.
I take their picture – they like it
In a strange way
Like food tasted once in some far away country.
They run away to candy bars
And I’m alone again
Are you ok? Asks JC
I smile
This is friends, home
His
And I, a welcomed stranger
Not exactly in disguise

Liza wants to be an actress – she tells me
She goes to the city
Sometimes
A slim body in colored tights
What is making her glow so much
I wonder
In this shithole
Rusty curtains and moldy corners
She is a crimson princess and
I am sick ghosts, somewhere empty and poor.

We go out – I take in all the air I can get
The wind brings the raw smell of the ocean
Mixed with sewer discharge
Somehow still incredibly pleasant
To me
Familiar and of summer
Somewhere lost along the road.
I am relieved
Cause now I have a better idea of what to do with myself

Nico brought the skate
Liza and JC follow him
She hops on the board and Nico pushes her forward
Her arms on his shoulder
She’s afraid to fall
She can’t stand still

I take out the camera and start recording
JC pinches her on the waist
She laughs
Rolls forward
Nico feels her body resting on his shoulder
I stand still and do my job
I let them play.

The camera is rolling.
I look at them
As they move away
Liza’s voice becomes fainter.
It’s strangely quiet
I lift my eyes
Forget about the screen
And the oscars
And then
I see them
On a summer glaze
Light till late
The lamp poles turn on
Shine a yellow aura
on the black concrete
They walk past the night
And into the dawn.
I’m one step away
From the wild heart of things
Yet a million miles gone
And years missing.

 In the midst of a crowd, at the town fair we walked together with the marching band. I didn’t know it was you behind the saxophones. You turned to me and in your icy emerald eyes I saw you: a stoic man, a sailor and a traveler, a dreamer of towers high and indestructible. Under the sun we didn’t know seasons. You weren’t dead and I wasn’t alive. We walked, even creatures of spirit, yet you will always be wiser. I wanted to hug you but I knew that if I tried to, you would have vanished into thin air. I’m just a tired warrior yearning the sweet return home, for all that inauspicious, forlorn, and on a foreign boat. This voyage back to rocky Ithaca is hazy and seldom offers harbors. At the sight of you I tremble and grow quiet, holding your eyes in mine for as long as I can, for this moment that has been granted to me won’t last long. You don’t speak, it is not for you to say. You turn around and disappear among a cloud of hushed hats, continue to other travels, where I am not allowed. I stand alone now in the deserted square and, still for a moment, I finally understand. I start weeping, for I have found you again. To our encounter in the land of time thieves I shall offer these words as a sign of gratitude, mine not yet eternal.


In the midst of a crowd, at the town fair we walked together with the marching band. I didn’t know it was you behind the saxophones. You turned to me and in your icy emerald eyes I saw you: a stoic man, a sailor and a traveler, a dreamer of towers high and indestructible. Under the sun we didn’t know seasons. You weren’t dead and I wasn’t alive. We walked, even creatures of spirit, yet you will always be wiser. I wanted to hug you but I knew that if I tried to, you would have vanished into thin air. I’m just a tired warrior yearning the sweet return home, for all that inauspicious, forlorn, and on a foreign boat. This voyage back to rocky Ithaca is hazy and seldom offers harbors. At the sight of you I tremble and grow quiet, holding your eyes in mine for as long as I can, for this moment that has been granted to me won’t last long. You don’t speak, it is not for you to say. You turn around and disappear among a cloud of hushed hats, continue to other travels, where I am not allowed. I stand alone now in the deserted square and, still for a moment, I finally understand. I start weeping, for I have found you again. To our encounter in the land of time thieves I shall offer these words as a sign of gratitude, mine not yet eternal.